NERVOUS

I'm having a near melt down at the thought of my daughter going to high school next year. For most parents, that concept alone is frightening. Add to that, my daughter is autistic; and I have to say, I am a wreck! Yes, I have faith, but to be honest, when I think about all of the things that can go wrong, my faith is tested, and hope seems to flee. I am a bag of nerves trying to train my children on 'what if' scenario's. I'll admit, the thought of a gunman walking around shooting students have my insides turned. I am not sleeping well at night.
On top of that, I've been avoiding the Dr. since my sugar is sky high.(I'm diabetic)

So, I was taught to pray. And I will. Having faith in God: I must have. And trying to hold on to sanity while dealing with transition: My goal.
I really need to be more like my husband. He worries only about the things he can change and leaves the rest up to the Man Upstairs. I guess praying the Serenity prayer all these years really works(he needed some sort of guidance being married to me). I'll start tomorrow. Actually, it's 2:00am, so I'll start tonight.

I'm out,
Lea

ME: A BITTER BITCH

So tonight I'm talking with a friend. Actually, we were gossiping. And you should have heard me slinging mud all over the place(thank God you hadn't). Looking back, I can't believe how arrogant and harsh I was. But then again my own back door is mighty filthy, so it's easy to pass judgement on others. I am stressed as hell about my books. I'm starting a new chapter in my life as far as careers goes, and preparing for next year is a bitch! Mostly, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the changes that are in store for my family and myself, and for the changes going on in our lives. So rather get fixated on what's going on what's eating me up, I gossiped like a gossipmonger. Shame on me. Next time I'm feeling the stress, I'll not gossip. I'll clean up my own back door.

I'm out,
Lea